And, as the days go by, my love for you has begun to change.
Only you are capable of bringing this agony, so easily even without trying.
I want to be rid of it, to break free from this excruciating feeling that gives me, now, the least happiness.
I thought once that I would, if you’d tell me to.
But I see now that there’s no need.
Everything seems simple until you think about it.
You never wanted me to feel this pain.
You never wanted me to feel this way for you.
And when it all goes away, you’ll forget the day when I first saw this feeling as “love”.
I’m finding ways to articulate
The feeling I’m going through
I just can’t say I don’t love you
It’s getting hard to communicate
The thoughts that I hold
But tonight, Imma let you know
Let me tell the truth
Baby, let me tell the truth…
You sat by the window, and I looked at you from outside. If you hadn’t given me the same cold stare I see in your eyes whenever we meet, I would’ve smiled at you.
and I knew I was right when you averted your gaze and closed the curtain.
But I’m used to it by now. There are times when you seemed happy to be with me, and times when I sense annoyance in your face.
And I knew that it would take some time to figure you out. I would never know the real meaning behind your smile, or if it’s really okay for you to take a picture with me after turning me down the first time. I don’t understand how you can smile like that when you stand so near the person who seemed desperate to talk to you everyday, but doesn’t have the guts to walk up to you today.
Sometimes I wished you’d be a little meaner to me, then maybe I could get over you easily. But most of the time I just think of how you’re really worth it, and how nothing could ever compare to the warm feeling I get every time I sense the coldness in your eyes.
P.S. shit getting so repetitive tho I'm inspired today because we finally have a decent picture together 🙂
To be befuddled in wistful thoughts
And love in the earnest way
Is to allow myself to be sought
By your mere presence everyday.
At first, I was unsure of how I felt
‘Cause my love seemed like an infatuation
That is, sadly, not warm enough to melt
Your eyes’ cold disposition.
Yet it was enough, for me, to see
You, who stood very near to me
For some time, I believed I’ll be fine that
Despite my heart telling me that I’m not.
So instead, I drown in your reticence
Wishing it was me who lingers in your mind
Because, looking at your smile reminisces
How unlikely for you to be so kind.
I can’t point out how it started
But I still think you’re the best
Already, our story is drenched in irony
And before you, everything was a mess.
So if we go on with this story
I hope you’ll realize
I do love you dearly
But the ending could not be surmised.
I wish you’d talk to me more. Don’t get me wrong, though. I feel like the happiest person in the world—
every time you reply to my messages but I noticed something. I felt stupid for not pointing it out before, but when I reread our old conversations, it became clear to me that
You never asked how I was doing. I only ever flood your phone with questions revolving your life and all you do was either answer them or find a way not to. You never did the same to me. It hurts because I kept wondering if there’s a better side of you that I haven’t seen before, and it gets worse whenever I think about which people knew you the most.
I want to get to know you better. Right now I hardly know a thing about you because you won’t let me, but if ever you need someone whom you don’t know much but still understands you, just know that you can always talk to me.