I stood in the middle of the water and looked far ahead, becoming less afraid of its depth. Gradually I reminisced those times when I was the only one who won’t go deeper beyond, haunted with the fear of being unable to go back. For a while I was fine with it as long as I’m safe from its dangers, but it became rather lonely to stay by the sidelines and watch those people who knew how to swim freely and overcome it.
So maybe not this time, because I thought,
“I want today to be different”
And it did turn out exactly as I said in my mind. For once, I let the emptiness consume me and thought nothing of my fears. I learned how to trust the water a bit more than before, allowing myself to fall deep into its blue interior even without anyone to save me.
It was because I imagined you standing there in front of me.